Life in a Snapshot

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You live your life in pictures,

Snapshots of a man-made moment

Shallowed with each glance

Standing for nothing, a mere facade anyone can crack

The appearance of a magnificent life

From a far you paint a magical moment 

Yet when magnified, is a trite existence 

One day, your film will fall to the ground

Immediately exposed, ruined

Harsh images quickly appear and paint your true story

On that day, you will wake up, old and alone, 

Your life thrown away in status and photographs

Free Write: Web

Sun shining through,

catching glimpses of her beauty,

its dangerous beauty,

smiling eyes causes uncertainty,

Uncertainty...

that doesn’t stay long,

before her smile penetrates the heart,

dangling from my sleeve,

Its not right,

but she consoles and assures,

recreating the unreal,

into your reality.

So why not go along? It could be true

for what do we know? We can not even move.

Stuck to her silky throne,

Arms –fingers- toes,

Unknowingly tethered in silken ropes.

Wraps you up in soft threaded blankets,

Keeping you warm she claims

Warm from the bitter cold,

Yet looking out

Humidity creates morning dew,

The thought barely occurs

It’s a sweltering afternoon..

Twirl me around,

Swing me about,

Over and over,

Colors blur into dizzy paint strokes.

But something is amiss,

I’m uneasy I say and,

She stops.. smiles… then calmly works away…

Threading spools of lies,

so tight around my chest,

Breathing is short..

awareness is absent.

The smile I fell for

suddenly turns,

Transforms into a twist,

My eyes have never seen before.

Cacophony of alarms shutter my bones,

Warning signs ignite the lies,

The home my heart lives

is numb…frozen…cold.

But I find not a care appears,

for they have clearly been sewn,

Sewn deep in my bones.

All of a sudden,

Dread is replaced with enamor,

As I try to make myself glamorous,

As pretty as can be.

So calmly here I wait,

a smile glued to my face,

Her lips to make their way to me.

What Makes You Happy?: Coffee & Mountains

Photo Courtesy from coffeinthemountains.tumbler.com 

Photo Courtesy from coffeinthemountains.tumbler.com 

I suppose that is a very simple question and maybe a silly title but someone asked me that recently and I had to think. What truly makes you happy? Blissful almost. To the point where you forget about everything else. And then, the most important follow-up question, are you actually doing it? 

A couple simple things come to mind for me are...right before dawn, hot coffee on a brisk morning, New England seasons, a great thriller book (preferably a Jack Reacher one), a great workout, sushi and wine, being outside and exploring, laughing so hard that I can't breathe and simply being in good company.

I pretty much do all those things daily but I still feel like something is missing. A piece I can't shut out. I want more. A complacent lifestyle was not one I was ever able to settle into. Always looking for the next challenge or adventure was my mindset. And it appears the next hurdle on my chopping board is to see the world. Experience different cultures, be thrown out of my comfort zone and explore boundaries that were never crossed. I have come down with the travel bug (as they say).

Photo Courtesy from coffeinthemountains.tumbler.com 

Photo Courtesy from coffeinthemountains.tumbler.com 

I want to backpack through places that I only lived in through pictures for so many years. I have ignored it so long that it has gotten to the point that it is no longer an "if" fleeting thought but grown into a "when" consuming constant daydream.

I want to explore. Jump out of our safety net and experience. Maybe this summer will lead to something more exhilarating then I ever can imagine. (If you too have the same urge to travel, check out coffeeinthemountain.tumbler.com. She has an amazing page and is truly inspiring.)

So...what makes you happy? Are you embracing it to its fullest? If not, what's standing in your way?

Morning Moon

She is the only thing I see. I can’t take my eyes of her. Yet, she remains invisible to the world. Showing her face only when dusk settles in. Her brightest moments right before dawn rises. 

Tonight, she is especially alive. Closer to me than I have ever felt before almost as if I kept driving west, I could possibly reach her. Hanging low in the trenches and glowing the streets impurities, she watches over the night. Silently guarding and protecting.

Image from National Geographic (none of my pictures even compared)

Image from National Geographic (none of my pictures even compared)

She is so bright but no one sees her. Not even attracting a second glance for most.  It’s almost as if someone took a giant pair of scissors to the black sky and cut out a perfectly rotund circle.  So apparent and predictable yet silently on guard. Softly overseeing your best interests as opposed to her counterpart.

She intrigues me and I want to follow. I want to believe in that feeling deep in my gut. She reminds me of that every morning right before she slips away and the dawn takes over her credit.

"Fold or Fight": Lyrics Never Put to Music

Knots twisting my stomach working their way up my throat.

Clenching tight holding on, I beg enough is enough.

 Your inner monster climbing out of its cage.... Taking over body and soul

Only you can stop its roll. 

How could you let it get this far? At the end of our tunnel there is no light

I should have never asked, if you were going to fold or fight

I was your ticket to fly but even after I continued to stay, you still managed to lose your grip and continued to act as you may.

 Cataracts at 23, your perception of truth was cloudy.

And at the top of my lungs...I scream ever so silently

For all your talk, you don’t have much to say.

And you never did learn to listen.. Static has paved our way.

 

You have really dulled my senses

Poked, Jabbed, stuck me to the bone

But you no longer light my fire. You no longer ignite my soul.

My time is better spent alone than with you drilling holes in my skull.

 

The thing is you’re so broken yourself.

Unmanageable pieces too small to ever make whole.

The Blank Page: Resilience

So many writers talk about the blank page.  It’s freedom. It’s likely to be anything you want.

The possibilities are boundless. No boundaries lie in sight. It’s your own mini-life shrinked down to bite size. Your vision broken down to small manageable pieces. It’s do-able and suddenly attainable.

The open road consists of numerous signs, dead ends disguised as avenues and unscheduled road blocks. Its outcome is catastrophic. One is likely to throw their hands in the air and leave it all behind.

Sensory overload.

But the blank page is small. Just an old notebook page you may have used to write essays in from school. Coffee stained but still able to complete it’s job. It gently guides you through your life’s map. We are suddenly grounded.

As in everything, it is easy to lose track and look up from your page. But you must keep your head down. Stay concentrated and purely in the moment.

Tune out the static that envelopes you and stay on the ground. Feet planted firm and confident. Feel the dirt and embrace it. It will get you to where you want to go. But it takes patience and diligence and most importantly, unwavering trust in yourself.

Stick to the blank page. It does not and will not lead you astray. It will only improve your chances, your abilities, to achieve all you set your mind to.

Keep that blank page close. Don’t let it out of sight. Remain calm and continue your small steps to where you need to go. Your finish line.

The blank page will get you there. Just trust.

Don’t worry yourself with riddling questing and tainted views. Pay no attention to cheap words cloaked in disdain. They are worthless to your cause and are waiting for you to fall.

Pay them no time. This is your plan and it is the correct path. Don’t stray far.

Keep your head down but your mind awake. Your heart free from imposters. Stop muscling your way through. Let it come to you. It always does.

It is the truth, the very core of you and don’t let uncertainty scare you. There will be naysayers but they will pass by. Let them pass.

 

Stick to that feeling you have deep in your bones. It is the one constant truth. 

Rethinking Our Complaints

I feel  that we complain a lot as a society.  I was in a conversation the other day and realized that 75% of what was being said, was whining about this or that. 

I am by no means a saint here. I do my fair share of complaining. “I don’t want to go to my lesson.. I’m tired… I’m cranky…Why is it 75, breezy and beautiful?” Yes, I am definitely not off the hook here. 

However, I’ve always been frustrated by our blindness and unwilling to see the moments we take for granted. Recently, I worked at an event called Ronald McDonald for Good Times. It was their annual Christmas party that they hold where I work at Warner Bros.

To give you a little background, this group provides year round programs for families and children impacted by cancer. They recapture the essence of being a child and allow them to throw away their fears if just for a little while.

I was able to participate and help coordinate their holiday party this year. You don’t realize the magnitude of this event until you see the approximately 1,500 kids and families stream through the gates with smiles plastered on their faces. The time and effort that the volunteers put into this party is clearly apparent from the countless events such as hired carnival rides, Christmas trees placed all over the lot, toys pilled everywhere, Santa Claus wishing everyone a Merry Christmas and a myriad of other activities that any kid would enjoy.

It is impossible to capture in words, or even a photo for that matter, the joy that this event brought to these families.  They are going through the hardest time of their lives. And yet, I did not hear one complaint the whole day. Not one. 

This makes you realize what life really boils down too and to actually count your blessings. Revel in them. We are very fortunate. That’s not to say that our problems are worthless. They are still issues that we have to work through and therefore make an impact on our lives. I simply am saying, look at them a different way. Being upset that there is traffic is a good problem to have. Enjoy those problems. Because I bet any of those kids and families would trade with you in a second.  

I know I will be thinking of things differently from now on. Best wishes to the children at Ronald McDonald Camp for Good Times.

To My Silent Hero

There are some people that get you where you are in life. Help you become the person you are today. Push you when you want to throw it away. Console you when you fall down. Cheer you on after each little step you take. I am fortunate to have had this person in my life from day one. This person is my mother.

She scheduled and drove me to countless voice, piano and acting lessons. Prepared with me for auditions. Encouraged me to keep practicing when all I wanted to do was hang out with friends. Gave up her time and energy to give me everything she could.

My mom was the one who sparked my love for music. Listening to her sing Joni Mitchell's "Both Sides Now" on guitar,  I wanted to be just like her.  

She is the one who believed in me to start this dream and continues to encourage me to trust the path I am on. Sometimes, the people that mold and create you do not get the recognition they deserve even though they were the ones that have been there silently believing in you even when you yourself gave up. Thanks to my mom, I am here. And because of her confidence in me, I am pursuing what I love.

In the end, I might not be the next sensation or have thousands of fans but it would be okay. Because no matter what, she will be there. Cheering me on. 

Thank-you Mom. I owe it all to you.


Bucket Lists

I love lists. Everything planned out. But I love crossing things off the list more. Even if I did something already that wasn't previously on my "list of things to do," sometimes I'll write it down after the fact just so I can immediately cross it off. So gratifying! Kind of similar to the "EASY" button from Staples. Anyways, that is why I'm writing out my bucket list. Therefore, it will make me want to cross things off (or do something and then add it after).

Hopefully this will work so I can get started since some of these might take some time to accomplish.....

I wish this was some huge mountain I just scaled up but realistically it was pretty small :) Either way, I can pretend for now!

I wish this was some huge mountain I just scaled up but realistically it was pretty small :) Either way, I can pretend for now!

1) Complete an Ironman race

2) Go to Africa and pet an elephant

3) Travel without a map

4) Live on a boat for a little

5) Hike Yellowstone

6) See the Northern Lights

7) Sky dive...although someone might have to push me out of the plane for this one

8) Get my black belt ( or any belt )

9) Grant someone their wish

10)  Change someone's life with my music

11) To Be Continued.....

 

What's on your bucket list? :)

Happy Birthday Dad

Happy 58th Birthday to you! Wish I could be home to watch you try and blow out all 58 candles at once, but hopefully I will be soon! 

You have always been someone I aim to emulate. Whether it is how you do business, your calm demeanor in a heated argument, your incredible sense of humor or how safe you have always made me feel, I thank you for being the best dad I could have asked for. 

Happy Birthday!!!!

 

Autumn

Before anyone wakes, I rise to greet the day. It's chilling air nips at my bones. I barely notice the goose bumps that rise to the surface. The giant red blanket wraps its arms around me on the back porch as I clutch my mug of coffee. Steam rises and warms my face. Damp leaves carpet the ground and continue to fall from their homes. Unseen birds harmonize with the wind rattling the trees' branches.

I close my eyes and succumb to the moment of bliss...

It never last long.  

The Nomad Years

I think everyone has had a time in their life when they wish they could hit fast forward and just get it over with. I have found that being in your 20's are one of those times, at least for me. Just starting out, still figuring out what you like, throwing money down the drain (aka paying rent), bad investments, working endless hours, and wondering,  so..is this it? Is this what the rest of life is about?

We want to rush past this to when we are stable, have a nice house, a family, a steady comfortable income and overall... security. We tend to say "I wish that... (fill in the blank)" a lot. The funny thing is, the only way we can appreciate the things we wish for, is from being a "nomad" for awhile. Living through these nomadic 20's. Getting stuck in sticky situations, feeling solitude, traveling down dead end roads and having to circle back, falling in love and having it not work out as we planned. It's within those moments that you are tested. To pull that strength that lives deep within your being and rely on it. Rely on yourself.

The only way to get to the blissful state of being secure, is to go through it. So, instead of constantly fighting an uphill battle, why not embrace it? Realize that this is not forever but it is something that everyone goes through. Set your eyes on the future and find yourself okay with where you are. You will get to where you want to go if you believe in yourself. 

Keep marching forth. It will all pan out. Trust that.

I listen to "Go Thru It" by Griffin House when I need a reminder. "We can never get around what you gotta go through." 

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lki4ifyYuLo

 

 

First "Thought"

I am going to be really honest with you.. I have no idea what to write here. But I do know that this blog will not be normal. There probably will be no theme and will be based entirely on how I am feeling at the moment. Now that I say that, I supposed that is what a blog is then huh? SO here it goes...

Every now and then, whatever your passion may be, there comes a time, or many times, when you want to give up. Take the easy road. The one quote that kind of stuck with me every time I wanted to throw the towel in was, "You are confined by the walls you build yourself." It was one of the "lightbulb" moments. I carried this quote with me everywhere... Literally. I plastered it on my guitar case when I had a gig, kept one in my music book, taped the words on my mirror as a reminder before starting the day. 

We create our own rules. Our own expectations. Our own thoughts on what we can or can not do. The crazy thing is, that it isn't a person, thing, or past event that builds barricades on the road to what we desire–It's simply us. Ourselves. Which is the best news ever because this means... we can do anything.